Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hi blogisphere!

Making the very first post is always so hard! What do I say to let people know that my thoughts are similar to theirs and worth reading?! People are always saying that honesty is the best policy so... here it goes!

I am 22 years old and planning my wedding. That's exciting stuff, right? I get to wear a pretty dress and plan the rest of my life, my happily ever after with my best friend. My knight in shining armor doesn't ride a white steed but he indeed rescued me. With the very first kiss that we snuck in his kitchen (while my mother was in another room!), assured me that he was The One. I have finally reached the point in my life that little girls dream of.

 BUT there is drama.

I had an imitation of this happily ever after before. I was married to a man that was just as wrong for me as I was for him. Instead of doing the right thing and walking away from each other before any damage was done, we had a daughter together. Children are blessings and our daughter was no different. She was my purpose from the moment I knew of her existence. It certainly didn't help the situation with her father and I though. In fact, it exacerbated them. So much so, that I joined the Army(with his blessing) just to get away from him. I was willing to go to war just to get away from my husband. That says a lot, doesn't it? I am going to try very hard not to say anything negative about him on this blog because soon we will be going to court for custody of our daughter. We cannot agree on where she will thrive best. I think she will be better off here, and of course, he thinks she will be better off there. We can't be grown ups and decide together so we will go through hoops, expensive hoops, and let a judge decide for us.
Can I just say one thing before I don't say anything negative about him on this blog?
When he kissed me, I would have to force myself not to upchuck in my mouth. That is not a figure of speech. I would literally have a mantra going on in my head. "Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Please, don't throw up!"  There! I don't need to say anything else about how bad our relationship was. From here on out he will be known as, He Who Must Not Be Named.

My Fiance can't stomache the thought of him but, he does feel terrible about the position that he (the ex) is in. He hurts for him and I think that speaks volumes about what kind of man my Fiance is. Just in case it doesn't though, let me tell you, he's amazing. He is an amazing partner, son, brother, artist, father (even though he has no children of his own). He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are on a mission to make him a father. I think we might have succeeded! I got a faint positive earlier this month but I refuse to test again until August because that is when the psychics(3) said that we will receive our positive. Yep, we believe in psychics.

If I am not pregnant, I will be leaving for the Army (again). If I am, I will still be leaving for the Army, just a few months later than anticipated.

In my home state of sunny southern California, my daughter would be enrolling in school this September since she will be 5 in October. Not here though! They say she is too young. I thought about getting her placed early but I was told by the board that she would have to be reading at a first grade level. Are you kidding me?! Here they are teaching their Kinder kids the difference between a diamond and a star but because my counting to the high hundreds, adding and subtracting double digits, telling time, money counting, pledge of allegiance reciting, planet knowing, verb and noun differentiating, reading at a kinder level daughter cannot read as well as the first graders, she isn't ready for school? The only private school that we really liked beats, I mean spanks the children. I will not  ever sign a paper giving somebody else the right to put their hands on my child when I don't even do that. Besides, He Who Must Not Be Named would not sign an agreement like that even if I wanted to.

Shall I bullet point my drama for you?

  • Child custody case
  • Wedding prepping
  • Blended family planning
  • Interracial relationship in secretly racist town 
             A. older younger couple

  • Leaving for the Army soon
Things are incredibly crazy around here. Sometimes I feel like i've been Abducted by aliens and planted into one of their alien households. 

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