I have been a Harry Potter fan from the very first book. When I say that I have read all of the books at least 10 times, I am probably downplaying the number of times that the books have been read. I got suspended from school for having that book tucked away in my backpack so that I could read it when nobody was looking. I attended a private religious school and Harry had managed to land himself on the forbidden and banned book. At my school, Harry was the He Who Must Not Be Named.
I can fondly remember putting a lightening bolt sticker on my forehead, donning glow in the dark glasses and my invisibility cloak, and waving my wand around while sitting outside of a Barnes and Nobles waiting for the next book to come out. I bawled like a baby all throughout the 7th book. When I got to the very last page, I sighed and with the expelled air, I experienced this deep, gut wrenching pain. I had grown p with HP and now our relationship was being severed. It was over. Even as an adult, I feel absolutely no shame in admitting my love of all things Harry Potter.
J had never read a book or seen an HP movie when I managed to drag him out with my to see the first installation of the last movie. There was so much history that he didn't understand but he said that he still really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the fact that he isn't one of those people who, when encountering the end of a series he knows nothing about, feels like he has to ask a million and seven questions to catch up. He just accepted it for what it was and enjoyed what he could understand. I was as disappointed with it as I had been with all of the others. The characters still weren't able to live up to the them that they were in my head as I read the books. But then, what movie is ever as good as the books? Still, I dutifully watched the movie and have since seen it 7 times.
It has taken every ounce of grown up strength that I posses not to urge J to dress up with me and go out to see the movie tonight. My inner child is punching my ribcages as we speak because I did not purchase tickets to the midnight showing of the movie. I will probably wander out to go see it sometime next week. Maybe. Maybe not. Once I see this movie, my journey with Harry Potter really will be over.
Unless of course, the start having conventions in Vegas that rival any star wars get together. Should there ever be a convention in Vegas for the Harry Potter fans who were unable to let go, look for me. I will be there amongst the masses, lost in a sea of capes, hats, wands, snitches, and Harry Potter glasses.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Pick up the chopsticks
J and I really enjoy sushi. I haven't mastered the art of the chopsticks yet. J suggested that I use the elementary chopsticks. You know the ones, the rubberbands connect them so that your fingers are positioned the right way and you don't really have to operate the chopsticks. Ha, ha, ha. Isn't he funny?
We are trying to teach Belle that there is more to eat than just McDonalds. She gets in on the sushi goodness too! J starts off with a seaweed salad. I prefer the meaty texture of the crab salad and because it's spicy, it starts my dinner off perfectly. Belle prefers Unagi so she usually eats an order and a half of unagi and then takes the cucumber slivers out of our salads. If we don't keep an eye on her she will take the rice from our rolls and leave the fish on the boat, looking like, well, dead fish. We talk, laugh, and just enjoy each others company. Afterwards, we usually walk around the promenade, eat ice cream. and visit the bookstore.
The workers at our favorite sushi place are very familiar with us. The experience is always great. The food is even better. So it sucks that my opinion of the restaurant has been altered because of something completely out of their control.
J and I were sitting down having dinner and there was a family sitting next to us. Just Dad, Mom, and a boy of about 10. We are minding our own business but you can never completely tune out what's going on around you. Unless you're J of course. I hear the father at the next table over say that. "it's a shame he felt like he had to settle with a Nigger."
Now, I know that it's just a word. I know that we give the word power to have a negative affect on us. That's what people say anyway. The truth is, history has dictated its negative connotations. It will never be cool to say, "what's up my Nigger?!" "How was your day Nigger?" The fact is, to call an african american Nigger, is to demoralize him, to dehumanize him, and to nullify his worth. What right does anyone have to do that to another person?
I didn't tell J until after the family had gone and he was upset that it had happened and also upset that I did not give him the opportunity to defend me and defend our love. It doesn't need defending. It doesn't need defining. It doesn't need excuses or forgiving. It does need to be allowed without comment from people who don't matter at the end of the day when the doors are closed and the lights off.
If you are in the Wilmington area and in the mood for sushi, I highly suggest that you stop by the mayfaire shopping center to visit Tokyo101. You will be glad that you did. Try the spicy crab salad!
We are trying to teach Belle that there is more to eat than just McDonalds. She gets in on the sushi goodness too! J starts off with a seaweed salad. I prefer the meaty texture of the crab salad and because it's spicy, it starts my dinner off perfectly. Belle prefers Unagi so she usually eats an order and a half of unagi and then takes the cucumber slivers out of our salads. If we don't keep an eye on her she will take the rice from our rolls and leave the fish on the boat, looking like, well, dead fish. We talk, laugh, and just enjoy each others company. Afterwards, we usually walk around the promenade, eat ice cream. and visit the bookstore.
The workers at our favorite sushi place are very familiar with us. The experience is always great. The food is even better. So it sucks that my opinion of the restaurant has been altered because of something completely out of their control.
J and I were sitting down having dinner and there was a family sitting next to us. Just Dad, Mom, and a boy of about 10. We are minding our own business but you can never completely tune out what's going on around you. Unless you're J of course. I hear the father at the next table over say that. "it's a shame he felt like he had to settle with a Nigger."
Now, I know that it's just a word. I know that we give the word power to have a negative affect on us. That's what people say anyway. The truth is, history has dictated its negative connotations. It will never be cool to say, "what's up my Nigger?!" "How was your day Nigger?" The fact is, to call an african american Nigger, is to demoralize him, to dehumanize him, and to nullify his worth. What right does anyone have to do that to another person?
I didn't tell J until after the family had gone and he was upset that it had happened and also upset that I did not give him the opportunity to defend me and defend our love. It doesn't need defending. It doesn't need defining. It doesn't need excuses or forgiving. It does need to be allowed without comment from people who don't matter at the end of the day when the doors are closed and the lights off.
If you are in the Wilmington area and in the mood for sushi, I highly suggest that you stop by the mayfaire shopping center to visit Tokyo101. You will be glad that you did. Try the spicy crab salad!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
"You and Me"
I haven't talked much about my God Mother, or her nonprofit organization. I will in the next post, I promise. Her name is Leila Steinberg and she is known around the world for her work with TuPac Shakur. She does amazing work with inner city youth, using art as a form of healing. She is just so immensely passionate about what she does. She is so passionate about people. So it goes without saying that the people she has most passion for is family.
Her son, Nyku, took after his mother. He is such an incredibly talented young man. It inspires me to see somebody so young being so proactive about the gift that he has been given. He made his first music video recently and I loved it. I want to share it with you guys. Please don't hesitate to let him know that you love it to.
Nyku's video can be seen here
You can follow Nyku on twitter @http://twitter.com/IamNyku
Her son, Nyku, took after his mother. He is such an incredibly talented young man. It inspires me to see somebody so young being so proactive about the gift that he has been given. He made his first music video recently and I loved it. I want to share it with you guys. Please don't hesitate to let him know that you love it to.
Nyku's video can be seen here
You can follow Nyku on twitter @http://twitter.com/IamNyku
Monday, July 4, 2011
Thank you for this 4th of July
So often the 4th of July is looked at as an extra weekend day. We are all too happy to eat good food, play with friends, and watch fire crackers explode. While I was watching the fire works a war veteran sitting beside me had the strangest look on his face. I didn't say anything. I just watched his face change with every explosion. Finally he said, "They just see it as entertainment. They have no clue what those explosions can mean."
It is usually referred to as The 4th of July and not independence day. I think this makes it easier to overlook the people who make it possible for us to continue celebrating in this manner. I cannot thank every veteran and those currently serving by name. I am so thankful though. You can always find a smart ass bumper sticker that reads, my husband risks his life so you can act an ass. My brother fights to defend your freedom to say that the war sucks. A lot of smirks and comments are passed when something similar to that is said. It doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter that you don't always see it. They really are keeping the wolf from your front door. Maybe it isn't noticeable. I would bet my baby that everyone would notice if all of our men and women in uniform took a month off. It's because they are there, that we don't notice them.
I thanked every service member today. I couldn't call all of my friends and family in uniform but I thanked each of them, with all of my heart. It takes a lot of courage to put on one of those uniforms and carry out the duty that it calls for.
There was somebody on my mind all day today. If you truly want to know the meaning of today, and what people are willing to do to ensure that you can continue celebrating it next year, take a few minutes and google the name Ross Andrew McGinnis. His is a story of a hero who took his duty seriously and gave, not paid, the ultimate price for his country. Ross placed his body on top of a grenade to save the life of his friends, brothers, fellow soldiers. That is the type of thing being done in the name of this country and it's freedom. That is the type of thing that is being done in your name. That is serious business. Please, take a few minutes, google his name, appreciate him. Celebrate his life and celebrate his gift.
Damn, i'm crying again.
Hope that everyone had a happy, safe, thankful 4th of July.
It is usually referred to as The 4th of July and not independence day. I think this makes it easier to overlook the people who make it possible for us to continue celebrating in this manner. I cannot thank every veteran and those currently serving by name. I am so thankful though. You can always find a smart ass bumper sticker that reads, my husband risks his life so you can act an ass. My brother fights to defend your freedom to say that the war sucks. A lot of smirks and comments are passed when something similar to that is said. It doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter that you don't always see it. They really are keeping the wolf from your front door. Maybe it isn't noticeable. I would bet my baby that everyone would notice if all of our men and women in uniform took a month off. It's because they are there, that we don't notice them.
I thanked every service member today. I couldn't call all of my friends and family in uniform but I thanked each of them, with all of my heart. It takes a lot of courage to put on one of those uniforms and carry out the duty that it calls for.
There was somebody on my mind all day today. If you truly want to know the meaning of today, and what people are willing to do to ensure that you can continue celebrating it next year, take a few minutes and google the name Ross Andrew McGinnis. His is a story of a hero who took his duty seriously and gave, not paid, the ultimate price for his country. Ross placed his body on top of a grenade to save the life of his friends, brothers, fellow soldiers. That is the type of thing being done in the name of this country and it's freedom. That is the type of thing that is being done in your name. That is serious business. Please, take a few minutes, google his name, appreciate him. Celebrate his life and celebrate his gift.
Damn, i'm crying again.
Hope that everyone had a happy, safe, thankful 4th of July.
Friday, July 1, 2011
He wants it so he put a ring on
I am looking at my engagement ring right now and it is in dire need of a cleaning. It's beautiful, but dirty.
I don't really care for jewelry. It bothers me to wear it so it would be a waste of money if my Fiance bought me jewelry for any of the mandated jewelry buying holidays. You know, anniversaries, Valentines day, Christmas, Birthdays, He said my dress made my butt look big and now I won't talk to him, those kind of holidays. It was really important to me that he did a good job and put a lot of thought into my engagement ring because it is probably the only jewelry I will ever wear besides my wedding band.
I hear quite a few women say that "it doesn't matter about the size or cost of the ring, it's the fact that he wants to marry me" If that works for them, great. I didn't want something that was so tiny I had to use a magnifying glass and squint in order to see it. I also didn't want something that would snag on my clothes or scratch Belle's cheeks when I am getting her dressed in the mornings. I didn't want a diamond that was so far off of the color scale as to be canary yellow or one filled with fractures. I wanted it to be small and quality. It may seem like I am a gold digger. That is not the case.
Even though it is 2011, I have old fashioned values. I want to be barefoot and pregnant, taking care of my husband and I want my husband to be able to take care of his family. I told myself that if a man wasn't able to buy me a decent engagement ring, how would he be able to provide for our family. In my eyes, an engagement ring is tradition. I want to stand on tradition now because that is one of the things that I want to carry throughout our marriage.
I don't like jewelry. It bothers me to wear it so it would be a waste of money if my Fiance bought me jewelry for any of the mandated jewelry buying holidays. You know, anniversaries, Valentines day, Christmas, Birthdays, He said my dress made my butt look big and now I won't talk to him, those kind of holidays. I needed him to do a good job and put a lot of thought into my engagement ring because it is probably the only jewelry I will ever wear besides my wedding band. It was incredibly important that I fall in love with my engagement ring because it wasn't just a ring. It was a new start. It was the beginning of the rest of my life. It was my future.
He did good. I am in love with the ring. I am in love with him. I am in love with the brightness of both the ring and my family's future.
Like I said, it's beautiful, but dirty. I could take it back to the jeweler to have it cleaned but I would really like to find a way to just clean it at home. I have read so many different ways to keep your ring shiny. Toothpaste, soap and warm water, vodka, jewelry cleaning solution...
I tried the toothpaste. It shines but I don't know how clean it is or if I got the small bits of sediment off. I will keep looking for new methods that keep it clean and don't scratch the stone.
I don't really care for jewelry. It bothers me to wear it so it would be a waste of money if my Fiance bought me jewelry for any of the mandated jewelry buying holidays. You know, anniversaries, Valentines day, Christmas, Birthdays, He said my dress made my butt look big and now I won't talk to him, those kind of holidays. It was really important to me that he did a good job and put a lot of thought into my engagement ring because it is probably the only jewelry I will ever wear besides my wedding band.
I hear quite a few women say that "it doesn't matter about the size or cost of the ring, it's the fact that he wants to marry me" If that works for them, great. I didn't want something that was so tiny I had to use a magnifying glass and squint in order to see it. I also didn't want something that would snag on my clothes or scratch Belle's cheeks when I am getting her dressed in the mornings. I didn't want a diamond that was so far off of the color scale as to be canary yellow or one filled with fractures. I wanted it to be small and quality. It may seem like I am a gold digger. That is not the case.
Even though it is 2011, I have old fashioned values. I want to be barefoot and pregnant, taking care of my husband and I want my husband to be able to take care of his family. I told myself that if a man wasn't able to buy me a decent engagement ring, how would he be able to provide for our family. In my eyes, an engagement ring is tradition. I want to stand on tradition now because that is one of the things that I want to carry throughout our marriage.
I don't like jewelry. It bothers me to wear it so it would be a waste of money if my Fiance bought me jewelry for any of the mandated jewelry buying holidays. You know, anniversaries, Valentines day, Christmas, Birthdays, He said my dress made my butt look big and now I won't talk to him, those kind of holidays. I needed him to do a good job and put a lot of thought into my engagement ring because it is probably the only jewelry I will ever wear besides my wedding band. It was incredibly important that I fall in love with my engagement ring because it wasn't just a ring. It was a new start. It was the beginning of the rest of my life. It was my future.
He did good. I am in love with the ring. I am in love with him. I am in love with the brightness of both the ring and my family's future.
Like I said, it's beautiful, but dirty. I could take it back to the jeweler to have it cleaned but I would really like to find a way to just clean it at home. I have read so many different ways to keep your ring shiny. Toothpaste, soap and warm water, vodka, jewelry cleaning solution...
I tried the toothpaste. It shines but I don't know how clean it is or if I got the small bits of sediment off. I will keep looking for new methods that keep it clean and don't scratch the stone.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Hi blogisphere!
Making the very first post is always so hard! What do I say to let people know that my thoughts are similar to theirs and worth reading?! People are always saying that honesty is the best policy so... here it goes!
I am 22 years old and planning my wedding. That's exciting stuff, right? I get to wear a pretty dress and plan the rest of my life, my happily ever after with my best friend. My knight in shining armor doesn't ride a white steed but he indeed rescued me. With the very first kiss that we snuck in his kitchen (while my mother was in another room!), assured me that he was The One. I have finally reached the point in my life that little girls dream of.
BUT there is drama.
I had an imitation of this happily ever after before. I was married to a man that was just as wrong for me as I was for him. Instead of doing the right thing and walking away from each other before any damage was done, we had a daughter together. Children are blessings and our daughter was no different. She was my purpose from the moment I knew of her existence. It certainly didn't help the situation with her father and I though. In fact, it exacerbated them. So much so, that I joined the Army(with his blessing) just to get away from him. I was willing to go to war just to get away from my husband. That says a lot, doesn't it? I am going to try very hard not to say anything negative about him on this blog because soon we will be going to court for custody of our daughter. We cannot agree on where she will thrive best. I think she will be better off here, and of course, he thinks she will be better off there. We can't be grown ups and decide together so we will go through hoops, expensive hoops, and let a judge decide for us.
Can I just say one thing before I don't say anything negative about him on this blog?
When he kissed me, I would have to force myself not to upchuck in my mouth. That is not a figure of speech. I would literally have a mantra going on in my head. "Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Please, don't throw up!" There! I don't need to say anything else about how bad our relationship was. From here on out he will be known as, He Who Must Not Be Named.
My Fiance can't stomache the thought of him but, he does feel terrible about the position that he (the ex) is in. He hurts for him and I think that speaks volumes about what kind of man my Fiance is. Just in case it doesn't though, let me tell you, he's amazing. He is an amazing partner, son, brother, artist, father (even though he has no children of his own). He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are on a mission to make him a father. I think we might have succeeded! I got a faint positive earlier this month but I refuse to test again until August because that is when the psychics(3) said that we will receive our positive. Yep, we believe in psychics.
If I am not pregnant, I will be leaving for the Army (again). If I am, I will still be leaving for the Army, just a few months later than anticipated.
In my home state of sunny southern California, my daughter would be enrolling in school this September since she will be 5 in October. Not here though! They say she is too young. I thought about getting her placed early but I was told by the board that she would have to be reading at a first grade level. Are you kidding me?! Here they are teaching their Kinder kids the difference between a diamond and a star but because my counting to the high hundreds, adding and subtracting double digits, telling time, money counting, pledge of allegiance reciting, planet knowing, verb and noun differentiating, reading at a kinder level daughter cannot read as well as the first graders, she isn't ready for school? The only private school that we really liked beats, I mean spanks the children. I will not ever sign a paper giving somebody else the right to put their hands on my child when I don't even do that. Besides, He Who Must Not Be Named would not sign an agreement like that even if I wanted to.
Shall I bullet point my drama for you?
BUT there is drama.
I had an imitation of this happily ever after before. I was married to a man that was just as wrong for me as I was for him. Instead of doing the right thing and walking away from each other before any damage was done, we had a daughter together. Children are blessings and our daughter was no different. She was my purpose from the moment I knew of her existence. It certainly didn't help the situation with her father and I though. In fact, it exacerbated them. So much so, that I joined the Army(with his blessing) just to get away from him. I was willing to go to war just to get away from my husband. That says a lot, doesn't it? I am going to try very hard not to say anything negative about him on this blog because soon we will be going to court for custody of our daughter. We cannot agree on where she will thrive best. I think she will be better off here, and of course, he thinks she will be better off there. We can't be grown ups and decide together so we will go through hoops, expensive hoops, and let a judge decide for us.
Can I just say one thing before I don't say anything negative about him on this blog?
When he kissed me, I would have to force myself not to upchuck in my mouth. That is not a figure of speech. I would literally have a mantra going on in my head. "Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Please, don't throw up!" There! I don't need to say anything else about how bad our relationship was. From here on out he will be known as, He Who Must Not Be Named.
My Fiance can't stomache the thought of him but, he does feel terrible about the position that he (the ex) is in. He hurts for him and I think that speaks volumes about what kind of man my Fiance is. Just in case it doesn't though, let me tell you, he's amazing. He is an amazing partner, son, brother, artist, father (even though he has no children of his own). He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are on a mission to make him a father. I think we might have succeeded! I got a faint positive earlier this month but I refuse to test again until August because that is when the psychics(3) said that we will receive our positive. Yep, we believe in psychics.
If I am not pregnant, I will be leaving for the Army (again). If I am, I will still be leaving for the Army, just a few months later than anticipated.
In my home state of sunny southern California, my daughter would be enrolling in school this September since she will be 5 in October. Not here though! They say she is too young. I thought about getting her placed early but I was told by the board that she would have to be reading at a first grade level. Are you kidding me?! Here they are teaching their Kinder kids the difference between a diamond and a star but because my counting to the high hundreds, adding and subtracting double digits, telling time, money counting, pledge of allegiance reciting, planet knowing, verb and noun differentiating, reading at a kinder level daughter cannot read as well as the first graders, she isn't ready for school? The only private school that we really liked beats, I mean spanks the children. I will not ever sign a paper giving somebody else the right to put their hands on my child when I don't even do that. Besides, He Who Must Not Be Named would not sign an agreement like that even if I wanted to.
Shall I bullet point my drama for you?
- Child custody case
- Wedding prepping
- Blended family planning
- Interracial relationship in secretly racist town
- Leaving for the Army soon
Things are incredibly crazy around here. Sometimes I feel like i've been Abducted by aliens and planted into one of their alien households.
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