Fhoto Friday

Every Friday from here on out, I will post a picture that is relevant to my life. They wont always be pictures of me or my family but they will be things that have interested me somehow. The first photo for Fhoto Friday is from a birthday get together we had.

Earlier this week J's grandmother turned 89. 89! That is almost a freaking century! When J told Belle how old she was, Belle said, "OH MY GOSH, she's about to die!" It wasn't funny but her shock that somebody could still be alive at 89 was a bit funny.

8 of us got together and had lunch at Olive Garden before everyone had to run off to work, school, play. We had a really wonderful time. His grandmother and I don't talk much but that is simply because I don't see her often and we don't have much to talk about. We exchange pleasantries though, and I love listening to her stories. His mother though, is a barrel of laughs. She, I don't even know how to describe her. She is just so much fun to be around. The kids had fun.

J's sister asked me if I experienced a lot of racism being with J. I was the only black person with 8 white people. As we were walking to our seats, we got a few funny looks from other white patrons but most of the really dirty looks came from other black people. She seemed shocked by this. J just kind of smiled and looked away.

Being with me, he has had to face, in a more realistic way, that racism is still alive and kicking.

Pick up the chopsticks

J and I really enjoy sushi. I haven't mastered the art of the chopsticks yet. J suggested that I use the elementary chopsticks. You know the ones, the rubberbands connect them so that your fingers are positioned the right way and you don't really have to operate the chopsticks. Ha, ha, ha. Isn't he funny?

We are trying to teach Belle that there is more to eat than just McDonalds. She gets in on the sushi goodness too! J starts off with a seaweed salad. I prefer the meaty texture of the crab salad and because it's spicy, it starts my dinner off perfectly. Belle prefers Unagi so she usually eats an order and a half of unagi and then takes the cucumber slivers out of our salads. If we don't keep an eye on her she will take the rice from our rolls and leave the fish on the boat, looking like, well, dead fish. We talk, laugh, and just enjoy each others company. Afterwards, we usually walk around the promenade, eat ice cream. and visit the bookstore.

The workers at our favorite sushi place are very familiar with us. The experience is always great. The food is even better. So it sucks that my opinion of the restaurant has been altered because of something completely out of their control.

J and I were sitting down having dinner and there was a family sitting next to us. Just Dad, Mom, and a boy of about 10. We are minding our own business but you can never completely tune out what's going on around you. Unless you're J of course. I hear the father at the next table over say that. "it's a shame he felt like he had to settle with a Nigger."

Now, I know that it's just a word. I know that we give the word power to have a negative affect on us. That's what people say anyway. The truth is, history has dictated its negative connotations. It will never be cool to say, "what's up my Nigger?!" "How was your day Nigger?" The fact is, to call an african american Nigger, is to demoralize him, to dehumanize him, and to nullify his worth. What right does anyone have to do that to another person?

I didn't tell J until after the family had gone and he was upset that it had happened and also upset that I did not give him the opportunity to defend me and defend our love. It doesn't need defending. It doesn't need defining. It doesn't need excuses or forgiving. It does need to be allowed without comment from people who don't matter at the end of the day when the doors are closed and the lights off.

If you are in the Wilmington area and in the mood for sushi, I highly suggest that you stop by the mayfaire shopping center to visit Tokyo101. You will be glad that you did. Try the spicy crab salad!